


No More

by tonystarking



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-13
Updated: 2014-09-13
Packaged: 2018-02-17 06:53:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2300504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonystarking/pseuds/tonystarking
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Makoto admits that he is going to a University in Tokyo, Haru cannot bring himself to leave his bed. He doesn't know what his future dreams are, until a visit from Makoto illuminates the shadows. Dedicated to sexyfujoshi for getting me into Free!</p>
            </blockquote>





	No More

There is nothing but the cold seeping into his bones. No yearning for the water, the small fire that starts in the depths of his stomach and wakes his heart, trickles down his limbs to his arms and feet, and takes his head by storm. It's gone, erased like writing in the sand from the incoming tide, all with Makoto's words.

Haru hears Makoto echoing in his utilitarian room. Makoto's words, the ones that will never leave him as long as he lives. A University in Tokyo. Haru clasps the blanket around him, curling into himself, one fist to his aching chest and one to his traitor mouth.

There are no parents to hear him cry, and even if there were, they wouldn't come running. They have always been independent, even when Haru wasn't ready for them to be. They were gone when he needed them, and unlike Makoto, he has no siblings, no one to be strong for. Instead, Makoto was always strong for him, like the older brother he always wanted.

No... not quite a brother. Not anymore.

Usually Haru's first thought upon waking is to seek out a cold bath, but now, even drenched in sweat after waking from his nightmares, he shivers beneath the thick comforter but remains tucked in its embrace. The bath holds no lure for him. The water, tepid in his mind. There is nothing now, no reason to get out of bed.

"Haru."

He doesn't move. Makoto's voice has become so strong in his mind that it is filling the empty space around him.

"Haru, I know you're awake," Makoto says. And because this is not what the dream Makoto says, because this is not the speech Haru replays in his mind, Haru knows that Makoto is real and that he is really in his room. Beneath the blanket, his eyes shoot open, and a droplet of sweat--or a tear?--runs down his cheek. He clenches his eyes closed tightly.

"Haru, please, just tell me you're okay," Makoto says. His voice is pained, and that hurts Haru even more. Haru presses his fist against his mouth and bites down on a finger. Behind him, he feels Makoto's weight settle on the bed.

Haru wants to turn and tell him to go away. He wants to snap at him to go on to his University and leave him behind. But truly, that is the last thing that Haru really wants. Haru really wants Makoto to stay. He would even beg Makoto to stay, to never leave their town and their friendship. To never abandon him. To never forget him.

Makoto sighs, and the weight on the bed shifts. Haru thinks briefly that Makoto is giving up and leaving. _Good,_ says Haru's mind. _No!_ cries Haru's heart.

Instead Makoto has just kicked off his shoes and shifted so that he is lying on the bed beside Haru. He takes the blanket and spreads it across them both, and when the air hits Haru's skin, he shudders.

Haru's heart thuds heavily in his chest as Makoto scoots closer to him. Makoto's head is on his pillow, his feet pressed against the end of his bed. He is so tall that he wraps around Haru better than the blanket did.

Makoto has always been taller than him, but it is only within the last year or so that Haru has noticed how perfectly they would fit together, how Makoto's broad shoulders and long limbs could envelope him without strain. Makoto does that now, sliding an arm beneath Haru and the other over him. Haru is only now aware that he's slept in his boxers. Even knowing that Makoto has seen him in less, like the swimsuit he wears in the water, it doesn't keep Haru's entire body from flushing.

"Are you running a fever?" Makoto whispers, and his breath brushes the hair over Haru's ear. Makoto's face is close to Haru's head so that if he would just turn, their noses would press together. They used to sleep together as kids, facing each other and whispering until Makoto's parents shushed them. Then they would lie in silence until the giggles began again.

This is not like that. And knowing that this might be one of the last times that they can be like this together chokes any words in Haru's throat.

"I'm going to get you some water, Haru, I think you're running a fever," Makoto says, and he starts to slide from the bed, but Haru is unwilling for this to end. Even if Makoto's kindness dictates he take care of Haru, the only thing that can truly keep Haru from breaking into a thousand pieces is for Makoto to stay just the way he is beside him. Haru quickly rolls over in Makoto's arms and presses his face to Makoto's chest, his hands against Makoto's rumpled shirt.

"Haru?" Makoto asks.

Haru was right; their bodies fit together perfectly, his head fitting just beneath Makoto's chin. Haru is scared of this need, this yearning that is not for the water or swimming, but for Makoto. There is no point in swimming without Makoto. There is no point in _anything_ without Makoto in his life. Makoto has always been there, and Haru has never believed that Makoto would not spend every day with him in the future as he had in the past.

"Haru, it's okay," Makoto says, his need to comfort palpable. He reaches up to stroke Haru's hair from his face, and Haru raises his head ever so slightly to meet Makoto's eyes. The knowledge shoots through his body as green eyes meet blue, a chill down his spine that freezes him in place. _I love you,_ Haru realizes, but the words stick in his throat.

"Makoto," Haru whispers, and Makoto's face breaks. Can Makoto see the pain in his face? Can he feel the hurt that Haru feels? Makoto has always known his feelings before Haru has even felt them, and this seems to be no exception. "Makoto," Haru whispers again before he is silenced by Makoto's lips.

Haru melts into Makoto, his hands pressed against Makoto's chest. Makoto's strong hands are on Haru's cheeks, holding him in place as they kiss, tentatively at first, then with more urgency. Haru cannot bear to think that their time together is limited. Haru inches forward, erasing any space between their bodies, his legs wrapping in Makoto's to hold him in place. Makoto's hands dive into his hair then run down his neck to his shoulders. When Makoto pulls away, Haru leans forward to follow.

"Haru, I--" Makoto is flushing as if he doesn't know what overtook him, but still he meets Haru's eyes. Haru fears that Makoto will leave now, will say he regrets what has happened between them. The dark chasm inside Haru opens again as he remembers the night with the fireworks, the night that Makoto said he was leaving.

 _We want you to find your dream,_ Makoto had said. Wrapped with Makoto, Haru feels that he has.

"My future," Haru says, and with these two simple words, Makoto is shocked into silence. " _You_ are my future," Haru says, and he initiates the next kiss. Makoto is drawn down into him, the stiffness of his shoulders sagging into Haru's body, and Haru sighs against Makoto's lips. _Perfect_.

Even if this cannot last, this is the dream Haru has, and he will not let go of it so easily.


End file.
